Ragan has posted my latest rant, on grammar rules that were made to be broken. My favorite: it’s time to stop worshiping at the altar of Strunk & White. A lot of their style rules really suck. There. I said it.
On the subject of rule-breaking, I am also proud to announce my first piece for Salon, a personal essay about my unusual family. It has nothing to do with business writing, but I hope you enjoy it.
Everyone’s seen them: sentences, phrases or whole publications so awful they literally made you squirm. In honor of appalling writing–and the people who make it happen–I’ve created this sure-to-be-coveted annual trophy. Early submissions include:
“Out to the yard, where fantasy awaits.” (Residential real estate listing, presumably for a brothel)
“Our work will give you a piece of mind.” (Masonry company brochure)
Bring on the nominations!
I’ve been enjoying a reader recommendation for a website called Unsuck It, which offers definitions of the “douchiest” corporate words and phrases. They’ve done pretty well with the basics, although I can think of at least 50 annoying terms that aren’t in the database.
My favorite feature is the “I’m feeling douchey” random phrase option. So far it has given me backchannel, brandactional, EOW (End of Week) and living document. Creepy fun.
Ragan.com has given me a bully pulpit once again: Check out 4 rules for using idioms in your writing, including current favorites like “he’s peeing on my leg, but it’s warm and it feels good.”
It’s been an amazing week for office-speak. Between the hallway, the elevator, the conference room and the copy center, I heard the following:
“I’m in concert with the sales team.”
“Let’s cascade this memo.”
“It pleasures me to inform you….”
“Please govern yourself accordingly.”
“I need to give you a dump.”
And my favorite:
“Ping Doris and make sure it’s on her radar.”
In case your ears aren’t bleeding yet, here are a few more: action items, metrics, laser focus, tickler list, in the weeds. Aren’t you glad it’s Friday?
How do you tell your colleagues or subordinates their work isn’t up to par? I just sat through an incredibly painful review of a branding document that had been 18 months in the making. As the team made its presentation, the faces of the review board went from enthusiastic to concerned to horrified. Here’s what they said:
What would you say?
An idiom is a group of words which, taken together, have a figurative meaning. The English language contains thousands of them, and they drive foreign speakers to despair: “How can I watch my back, or pay through the nose?” asks one student plaintively on UsingEnglish.com.
Even native speakers are flummoxed by regional idioms. “Happy as Larry,” “more front than Brighton” and “man on the Clapham omnibus” are three that have stymied me.
While it’s best to leave idioms out of business writing altogether, you may not even know you’re using them. Here are a few that have made their way into my recent emails:
Which idioms bother you most?
The Corporate Writer 