Circle the wagons and bark like a dog

It’s been an amazing week for office-speak. Between the hallway, the elevator, the conference room and the copy center, I heard the following:

“I’m in concert with the sales team.”
“Let’s cascade this memo.”
“It pleasures me to inform you….”
“Please govern yourself accordingly.”
“I need to give you a dump.”

And my favorite:
“Ping Doris and make sure it’s on her radar.”

In case your ears aren’t bleeding yet, here are a few more: action items, metrics, laser focus, tickler list, in the weeds. Aren’t you glad it’s Friday?

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4 Responses to Circle the wagons and bark like a dog

  1. heidi says:

    the 3 things my agent says that makes my skin crawl…

    ” today was crash and burn” meaning i was too busy doing my own shit to work for you today

    “we can beat them up” meaning let’s take advantage of free lancers, beat their price down

    and my favorite… “if they’re hungry enough” or “depends on how hungry she is”

    meaning if they want the work badly enough they’ll do it CHEAP

    gross

  2. Eyeww. “We can beat them up” is especially chilling, I think.

  3. David Lummis says:

    Just killed the term “action opportunity” from a presentation I’m giving tomorrow. Oh well. At least I don’t use “impact” as a verb.

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